we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
