i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
