You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
