I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
