What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
