I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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