you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
