I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
