Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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