omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
