I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
