dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you didnt know i had herpes?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
