Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
