Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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