this beer tastes like vomit already
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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