Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This house was built for laser tag.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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