Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
pray to the hookup gods
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
