Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
