So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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