i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize