she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
