he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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