how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize