I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its about making memories worth repressing
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
