i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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