He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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