Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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