Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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