I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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