I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
