at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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