She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
