420 ftw
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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