You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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