I want to walk on stilts...naked
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
When are your genitals available?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
