just come out here and I will go home with you...
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
