what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Less talking, more tequila
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
