so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
