all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
