Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
