Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
