So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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