Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
