I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
