VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
