PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
