I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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