Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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