PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
