U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
