turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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